So - I had resigned from making or even suggesting breakfasts for Toby, some time ago. Sometimes he ate, sometimes not, I kept quiet. I found a microwave oatmeal he really liked and could make himself, and then he was eating breakfast very consistently for awhile. We had the opportunity to have a conversation about how he feels different in his body at school when he eats in the morning vs. not. But eventually the allure of the new oatmeal waned and he went back to once or twice a week having no breakfast at all. I was dealing with it okay.
Yesterday he had his annual doctor visit, and his weight is in the first percentile (99% of kids his age weigh more) and his height is in the 4th. The doctor was very disturbed about the breakfast thing and really insisted that he eat something before school, and that I make sure it happens. There are more details but I guess this is sliding into the "morally or physically dangerous" area in which we are supposed to intervene. Although we do know several other families in which the kids were tiny and the parents were tormented by the pediatricians - all children of physicians, and all kids who eat a variety of healthy foods. Anyway, I feel frustrated because I know Toby is perfectly capable of bringing a baggie of Cheerios to school to eat, vs. buying a box of Cheerios at school. He likes to use his allowance to buy breakfast at school, and as long as he has the money, he buys it and eats it. But I am not willing to finance this as it costs one TENTH to eat the same foods from home.
I am going to spend a couple of weeks preparing and serving him simple breakfasts, which he can eat at home or take with him. Then I am going to work on gradually having him take over the items one at a time, so he is still eating from home but he is taking care of it himself. Did I surrender that to him too early? The doctor said it is unusual for kids to not want to eat in the morning, when they aren't eating breakfast it is most often because there is no food in the house - but I know from other PonT blogs that plenty of these kids will leave the house without eating if left to their own devices. The difference is, I'm sure, are the kids being presented with something tasty and appealing in front of them, ready to eat with no effort on their part? I would eat every day if someone was doing that for me.
Finding the balance...
Stay On the Couch
5 years ago
Posts
We don't quite have this problem, but I do have very skinny kids. Making breakfast for my oldest puts her behind because she 'doesn't know what to eat/ there isn't anything to eat.' Mostly she just doesn't want to make the effort. At the beginning of school we did a school roadmap for her. We agreed that on Monday, Wednesday & Friday I would make breakfast. I fix good hot breakfasts for the family: eggs and toast, oatmeal, puff pancake/ german pancake, sometimes french toast, pancakes or muffins. I try to keep it pretty easy for me, I am NOT a morning person, ans make sure I give myself enough time to make it in the morning. Tuesday and Thursday the kids are responsible for getting their own breakfast. I am willing to teach them to make easy stuff and encouraging them to ask the other if they want what they making if they are making something like oatmeal or eggs and toast.
ReplyDeleteBut I hate the question: "Mom, what's for breakfast? I don't want that! Can we have (fill in the blank) instead?"
Sabine is Sweetie Heart is 8 and in the 3rd grade. She *can* make breakfast on her own but this is the balance we have agreed on together. Just a thought.
Wow, I only make cooked breakfasts on weekends and not even most of them. We have established a few items Toby likes enough to eat before school: the microwave oatmeal, frozen flax waffles, pumpkin bread, Cheerios. So I will make those even easier for him than they already are, and try to add a couple of other attractive possibilities. Thanks for the ideas.
ReplyDelete