DNSN, #2

Here we go on another round of Do Nothing, Say Nothing. I felt like I was always reminding, reminding, nagging, reminding... so to get me to stop, we have a few days to devote to this before getting back into the school year routine. Today I refrained from about 70% of the interfering that I have been doing lately. An interesting observation: there have been sooo many dual screamfests lately - they set each other off - I think five times yesterday before 10 a.m. - and today only two, all day. It never seems as if I am playing any part in their initiation, but I think DNSN helped calm the undercurrent of volatility. I was disappointed to see how many of our daily routines do get dropped if I don't participate in some way (as soon as, check the P&R, etc). However, Toby did step up to do a few things on his own initiative, that he has been asking me to do all the time recently. I looked back over my old lists of things they do, won't do, and don't yet know how to do - a few items have progressed, although I would have hoped for more. It is challenging to gauge what to do and not do for Hazel - what are simply my assumptions about her limitations? She is still only two, for God's sake, but pretty damn capable when she's got good incentive. I walked in on her rinsing out the bowl of her potty chair after pouring her pee into the toilet - copying what she's seen me do for her.

I have been looking for ways to remain supportive and encouraging while refusing to do for, or to engage during useless behavior. Several times today when the children asked me to help them with something, if I just said okay and stood by, they finished the job themselves. Or I said show me what you can do, and what part you need help with, and they did it all themselves. So much more positive than a no, or really even "I have faith that you can do that" (which I also said a lot).

My hopes for the week: re-learn how to bite my tongue about messes, get a more accurate picture of what Toby's highest priority training needs are right now, remind him how much the family needs his participation to keep things running smoothly.

My reward for today: crazy outfit Hazel dressed herself in to go to the library (tank top, shorts, wool hat, one mitten, one bicycle glove, no shoes), and Toby's hysterical running commentary - "It's not cold out, you don't need a hat and mittens, it's summer, why don't you just put on long sleeves - oh, do what you want, I don't care!"