At Family Meeting this week, Dan was still away on his trip, so Toby chose to be the chairperson. He ran the meeting very smoothly and remembered all the parts. The kids chose a contribution for Dan since he wasn't there, and when he got home, Hazel asked him to trade with her.
Toby and I worked out a new P&R for playdates.
Rs: - making sure checklist gets done (not necessarily before playdate occurs but that day)
- cleaning up
- solving conflicts without yelling or hurting
- polite behavior
He is supposed to demonstrate these skills for 5 days before playdates can resume. The cleaning up is definitely going to be the hardest part for him. He seems to have no awareness of even when he makes a mess. Today I asked him to clean up a couple of things and mentioned that today couldn't count as Day 1 since I had needed to ask. He has a new game on my phone which he loves, and that has been motivating him to do some clean-up on his own, but the habit is only in its infancy. He also is going to have to make a big shift to solve conflicts with his sister without screaming.
The plan we made to go to the library every Monday has been working beautifully - today was the third time in a row that Toby returned books on time, and we went to the library that checks out toys. He got out two that he loved when he was little and he says they are just as fun as he remembered. In the meantime, he has checked out and repeatedly read about 25 books. Positive all around.
Stay On the Couch
5 years ago
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Yippee!! That is great progress on the library front.
ReplyDeleteKaitlyn has a cleanup problem, too; blog post on that coming soon. I am sure Toby will get there eventually -- progress, not perfection! :)
Debby, what about the poster who commented on how you don't want to ask them for to much, but rather to set them up for success? (She posted this AFTER a Vicki lecture touched on the topic.) Meaning, baby steps. Like, cleaning up after breakfast by himself first for 5 days. If he's not even paying attention, maybe it IS challenging for him to do it, to really notice. (Lord knows, I need to work on Brian noticing messes....and he's 35!) I'm constantly amazed by how differently different people perceive the world....
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, 4 months later we're still working on Fiora bringing her dishes to the kitchen after meals, so maybe I'm not the one to be talking!! Hope to see you soon and talk in person!
Thank you Lizzie - good reality check. I talked to him about it and we agreed that he'll work on putting away all his school stuff (jacket, backpack, lunchbag, papers) as the definition of "clean up" for now. Next week at Kelly's?
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