Trying to keep everything moving

Since I eliminated computer time for the week, Toby has not had much opportunity to practice the list of screentime responsibilities we created. The couple of times he wanted to watch videos, I had to say Yes, as soon as, but he did it quickly with no grumbling. He has asked to use the computer twice, and when I responded that it was off-limits until Family Meeting, he accepted that. Without it, he has resorted to asking, "what can I do?" - a very annoying attention behavior that used to be a constant issue, but now maybe not since last fall. We just have to finish up the problem about his ears popping off, before we can delve into computer time.

This problem will require some discussion at the meeting. I will need to lay out that he couldn't use it because he was not meeting the responsibility of using the timer to limit computer time - and then ask maybe ask what the problem is with that, which we can all suggest solutions for.

I had some time this week of looking at him from an outsider's perspective. In the same pants for 3 days, God knows when last bathed, lunch bag sticky inside with spilled juice, having iced tea or one bite of a tomato for breakfast... Had some doubts, is this really right? Is he really going to come through this beautifully functional as Vicki describes? Will he eventually attune to all these things? Are people going to think we are total freaks?

We are struggling a bit with the checklists. He always says they're done but they aren't. He seems to truly think he did everything but he doesn't look at the list to remind himself or check himself. Even when he does, he'll walk right by clothes on the floor without noticing them. I have been feeling like a cop, nagging and reminding, and feel the need for some DNSN. But - when he asks me for anything, I respond with Yes, as soon as, and then we get into it over whether it's done or not. I want to be firmer about encouraging him to make the determinations of whether things have been done, but I fear he'll just say (and believe) yes when they're not - so how does progress come from that?

I have been using Keep Moving Forward a lot this week, either distraction or just continuing with my business and trying to engage the kids away from their drama. It's always drama around here that's the issue, crying, ultimatums, door slamming. I even tried once to Stop-Apologize-eat ice cream, but Toby was so assertive about giving me the silent treatment that he wouldn't let me offer him the ice cream (he ran away to his tree house). But then everybody kind of moved on within ten minutes anyway. I guess I am learning to just wait a lot of things out.