Chocolate!

In Family Meeting yesterday, we brought the Problem List out for the first time. "H wont lisen." Is this still a problem? No. Done. (I had my non-solution all ready to offer, too, dang it.)

We went to a Chocolate Festival this weekend, and Toby brought his money. He spent nearly twenty dollars on two packages of brownies and a soap pens bath set. He just kept counting out those dollar bills. He has no awareness of how much money he has or how much of his money he is spending, as long as there is still some green in his little bag. That's fine for me, for now. Dan was really bothered by the whole episode, though. He was not able to really articulate what his issues were, but he did NOT like seeing Toby buy all those sweets, or spend so much all at once with so little thought. I think he didn't like not being able to comment and offer guidance in wise choices. My perspective is that if we interfere with his experience-gathering with money, he will only get annoyed with us and still not learn whatever we are trying to teach about value. These are lessons he is going to gather very slowly, over years. Dan agrees with this, in principle - but in action, maybe not as convinced. One lovely outcome, though - Toby shared all his dessert with friends who were over last night, and very generously with his sister as well.

This past week we were supposed to note what feelings we experienced when our children acted out, as cues to their Mistaken Goals of Behavior. There just was very little mischief. They each scored some Attentions and some Powers. But mostly my uncomfortable feelings seemed to be mine, originating from my own Mistaken Goals (don't spill things, finish this before you start that, etc) rather than from any provocative behavior on their part. My control issues. Shockingly, Dan's Appreciation for me this week was that I have been more patient with everyone lately! I do think so much of this program is working to change ourselves, and then our kids just naturally follow.