Cantaloupe

Last night I noticed Dan picking up pieces of cantaloupe off the counter and putting them in the compost bowl. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he was taking the compost out. I told him that I think it will take the mess getting worse before Toby feels its impact on his own life, enough to respond to it. But we have to clean up tomorrow, and I don't think things will get bad enough by then, so I guess there's no tangible effect. This is what's hard about not being totally on the same page in this endeavor.

Toby 5 out of 8 for the morning.

These are some of the training needs I've especially noticed this week:
- eating without making a big mess
- speaking politely to people out in the world
- cleaning up after himself
- dishwashing


I've also been thinking about what I can do to encourage Toby to dress appropriately for his recital tomorrow. I know Vicki is latching right on to the word "appropriately" and I admit this is my value, certainly not his. However, I feel like it's an expression of respect for the other performers, his teacher, and himself. The teacher sent home an information sheet with instructions for accompaniment, time and location, bringing sheet music, etc. and it says "Dress for the recital does not have to be formal, but please do not dress in immodest or sloppy clothing. The appearance of the performer is always an important part of the performance."

My plan is to ask him to go over the sheet with me and then maybe look at his clothes together. I already had a conversation with him a few days ago, in some other context, about how people wear different kinds of clothes in different situations, depending on what they want to project about themselves. Luckily, since I have not been doing his laundry all week, he only has a few choices left.

DNSN kind of went out the window this afternoon. I had the opportunity to see an old friend who lives out of the country, on the spur of the moment for a short visit - along with another old mutual friend who has a 3-week-old baby. Very high priority for me, and to make it happen I needed to do some directing. It worked out well and Toby was unusually patient and cooperative. Then we went out to dinner and I really felt like we had to control some behavior that was disruptive to the other diners. I already had table manners on my list of training needs for both kids and we have started a bit of it. Maybe we can't go out to eat for a while until we set it up as a more rigorous Privileges & Responsibilities item and make some progress. However, we will be away from home a few times in the coming weeks and restaurants will not be avoidable. A longer-term goal, then. For now, dessert is earned by staying in one's chair through the meal, not making any intentional messes, pleasant and polite behavior, and (specifically for Hazel) no throwing.

I'm tired.