Toby's breakfast dishes and some of his breakfast were left in the diningroom yesterday morning, in the flurry. I left them there, and Hazel later helped herself to the rest of the breakfast - thankfully, nonperishable. Toby spent the afternoon next door at his friend's house, and I served dinner when he got home. His dinner plate was crowded in between the breakfast dishes and cups. The meal was very pleasant and both kids behaved pretty well. After dinner Toby asked for ice cream and I said that was fine. It took him a while to figure out that I wasn't going to serve it to him, but he found it and the scoop and did it himself (leaving the scoop and the ice cream container on the counter). I couldn't bear Ben & Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie going to waste, so I asked, "what do you think is going on inside that container right now?" Toby leaped up from the table and exclaimed, "I forgot to put it away!" Then we had a funny conversation about ice cream soup. Saved!
A little later (with all of Toby's dinner dishes still on the table with his breakfast dishes, and food on the table, chair and floor) he said to me, "You forgot to do something on your checklist!" "What?" "Empty my lunch bag," he replied. I told him that wasn't on my checklist today, and he took that in and proceeded to do it himself, for the very first time. He did his version of washing the containers, and then started making his lunch for today. He has been making his own lunch for school for a few months and is working on his knife skills. Dan had earlier expressed concern to me about the safety of his technique, so I wanted to watch him and see what I thought about how he's doing these days. He did great with the apple and safety seemed adequate with the red pepper, but he hacked that thing up and there were seeds everywhere. Toby has recently gotten obsessed with pepper in rings and asked me to help him cut it that way. He was trying with a paring knife and not doing so well. I thought about it a little and we tried a couple of ways of my teaching him with the chef's knife, without doing it for him, but it wasn't working. The pepper had already been cut up enough to make it hard to get rings even by myself. When I told him this and said I couldn't do it for him, he fell apart and started crying loudly with his head on the counter. I left the room but felt nervous about him having the big knife that he hasn't learned how to use, and being upset on top of it. How could I turn this around?
I returned to the kitchen and said, "I think for you to learn how to make red pepper rings, we need to start with a whole pepper." He looked up at me with his red, wet face and said "yeah!" happily. I got an idea of how to avoid the big knife problem. We got a new pepper and I showed him how I core it to get rid of the seeds, then I got out the new V-slicer, a gadget for slicing that has a hand guard. I put the pepper on the guard and tried to slice it. Since it was hollow, it sort of bent under the pressure and the rings snapped into snakes. He was disappointed but content to take that for his lunch. Then I invited him to try the slicer, and he sliced the rest of the pepper. When we lifted up the gadget, there was a pile of beautiful pepper rings underneath! We both cheered and I congratulated him, he got the rings he wanted and we transformed a tantrum into a celebration. Instead of his being mad that I wouldn't do it for him and my being mad that he was being so rigid and melodramatic, we shared a triumph.
Later, unexpectedly, he got himself to bed at the usual time. During our bedtime snuggle, I have been trying to say something about the day to each child that incorporates one of the Crucial C's. I told Toby, "This morning, even with Grandma reading you that long book and Daddy showing you the shelf, and then everything with the shoe, you got out the door on time, with your backpack and lunch, and with your teeth brushed. That was an accomplishment." He looked pretty pleased and said, "I know."
Felt like a good first day.
This morning I went to 7 o'clock yoga, so Dan was in charge. I got home just after the bus left and I asked him how Toby's morning went. "I don't know, I wasn't watching." That's a good sign! It sounded like there was a little more shoe shenanigans - Toby wore the regular shoe down the driveway but changed to the cut-out shoe before the bus came. Whatever. I know Dan is nervous about the shoe thing because we have a ski trip planned for this weekend, and Toby is supposed to take his first-ever winter sports lesson - boarding. It's a big soft boot, so we're hoping he'll be able to do it.
Just for kicks, here are some pics from this morning:
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For what it's worth, I've taught my kids to cut with a serrated-edge steak knife, which doesn't have the sharpness of a chefs knife, but can still saw through most things.
ReplyDeleteI'm going through Vicki's program, too, and am struggling with a husband that isn't really participating. Even though Vicki says it can still work for us, feeling unsupported in this program adds extra stress and makes me want to give up at times. And I worry that the kids are just going to learn to go him when they want things done for him, instead of learning on their own. We'll see!
Thanks for the tip. I agree about the stress but I just keep trying to explain all the good I'm experiencing. It's helping me clarify what I do and don't want to do for any of the other people in the house.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I guess I started off with DNSN with DH. His part of the bedroom, his den, his writing room- i don't clean ANY of them, nor do his laundry, because I'd resent him if I did. And, with that in mind, I find it much easier to elt of the mess in those areas.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I'd manage DNSN with a DH who didn't support it, unless I was doing DNSN with him, too!
Anyway, good luck! If vicki says it can work, I bet it can!